Last week, I mentioned that I was meditating on some questions relating to God’s presence. This week, I have some answers.
The first question was, “What does it mean that God is with me?” The verse that I have been thinking about in regard to this topic is Galatians 2:20a, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (emphasis mine). Jesus says in John 14:6, “I am the Way, I am the Truth, I am the Life.” I have THE Life abiding in me – abundant, triumphant, victorious – coursing through my veins. That is as present as it gets.
The second question was, “How does knowing that God is with me change my life?” I had to modify this question once I answered the first one: “How does knowing that I have THE Life in me change my life?” Honestly, I became a believer a little over four-and-a-half years ago, and God has certainly been transforming since that point. But the fact that His presence in me allows me to live life to the full is something that has begun to click only in the past several months. Let me see if I can explain.
Over time, I have acquired this idea that if I want something, it must be bad for me. That if I’m happy, I should be waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that my unhappiness and my spiritual growth are inexplicably proportionate to each other.
Lies. All of them.
But because I believed them, I was living a half-life. What changed? I think last year I went through this stuff where I felt like I was dying inside. A dear friend had the courage to tell me that God didn’t want me to be miserable. He wants me to enjoy life, to have an abundant life.
And because Christ lives in me, I have that life. I just wasn’t accessing it.
So what has changed?
I genuinely want God’s will in my life. I mean, there is nothing I want more. Therefore, if I desire something, it doesn’t mean it’s evil. It just means I need to surrender that desire to God and what He wants to do with it. I can take risks and not have to worry about screwing up my life. I can be happy and not bound by anxiety about what may or may not be. And I can grow just as much in the good times as in the hard times.
I am finally living.