Some people call it a birthday, but I think of it more as an anniversary, because it’s more than just a new life, it’s a growing relationship. This week, I’m celebrating five years with Him!
He spent a long time pursuing and wooing me, but honestly, I mostly ignored Him. I felt unlovable and unworthy of His pursuit. As another man and other pursuits entered my life and I focused on them, He wasn’t even a blip on my radar. Eventually, that man and my other ambitions fell through, and miraculously, He was still there, insisting: I love you, you are Mine. And finally, five years ago, I believed Him.
Like any other relationship, it has had its ups and downs. I’ve been through fire and flood, though never alone: He has faithfully held my hand through it all. Even on nights when I’ve fallen asleep crying over very grievous situations, He draws me into Himself.
My heart yearns for the grand gestures of an extravagant love, and these desires have been met in my relationship with Jesus.
The first gesture was of course that He bore the punishment for my rebellion against God, and paved the way for restoration of the relationship that rebellion had destroyed.
The second gesture has been unveiling my identity in Him. I have always struggled with issues of self-worth, but Christ has been showing me through the Bible who I am in Him and how God really sees me. I have also learned not to give certain people stage time in my life anymore; people who have trampled my heart through consistently unkind words and actions.
The third gesture has been loving me through my less than lovable times. I am so thankful that God (unlike many humans) does not love me based on my lovability. He just loves me.
The fourth gesture is how He has orchestrated my life in good ways. Sure, there have been really hard times, but every single one of them has worked to my benefit. (And I’m not just saying that). If my life had gone according to my plan and what I thought was good at the time, I would have missed out on meeting so many people, doing so many things. For example, if I had gone to school five years ago as I had planned, I would have graduated before I had met Hope, Emily, Allyson, Whitney, and a whole host of other people. The past five years are FULL of examples like this.
And the fifth gesture I want to mention is His delight in me and my using my gifts and talents. I’ve been doing a lot of writing and producing lately, and most of it is not church- or ministry-oriented, but I feel that God is glorified in it because I am enjoying what He has given me.
Will you celebrate with me what God has done in my life over the past five years ? He has truly done great things!
Dear Jesus, thank You so much for Your faithful love for me. Thank You for giving Yourself so I can know You. Thank You for Your thoughts toward me, and that how You see me is so much different from how others see me, and how I sometimes see myself. Thank You for pursuing and loving me at my darkest, most hateful. Thank You for Your good plans for my life, even when I’m being stubborn or I just can’t see. And thank You for giving me the freedom to enjoy what You’ve given me.
I know a lot of people will think this is completely cheesy, and honestly, I don’t care. Your love is worth celebrating, and five years is a milestone. I don’t have the words to express my full gratitude, my full depth of feeling toward you. I can only say You are loving and good and faithful.
I am so excited to see what You do in the next five years!
I love You, Jesus!