This week and every day for the past several months, I’ve been dealing with the tension between what is and what will be.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I follow God down the path I’m on I will end up in Seattle. Every day, though, I am faced with paths that veer off of this particular path – paths that promise a quicker, easier planting; paths that are far more logical to just about everybody. I can’t take them, though, because I just know … I’m passing through on my way to Seattle and I’m not supposed to get comfortable here.
And yet, I am here. I am in the DFW area for only God knows how long (and I mean that). At this point it could be days, weeks, months, or years. And while I’m here, God obviously has something He wants me doing here. He still has people here He wants me to minister to; He still has growth for me here.
And yet, He continually reminds me that I’m not staying here. God has called me to Seattle. That means while I’m here, I’m also looking for jobs there, I’m looking for a home there, I’m budgeting a move there, I’m packing A LOT of my stuff, making note of the things I will need when I get there and am living on my own.
God is letting me know how transient I am. He is making sure I understand that I am only able to be where He enables me to be. He is helping me desire what He desires.
The bottom line is that I do not know where I will be in one week, one month, six months, or a year. Perhaps I will live with this tension for a longer season, or perhaps this season is coming to an end. I can’t say. I do know that I will continue living here and pursuing Seattle until a) I move to Seattle, or b) God removes the conviction and desire for Seattle and replaces it with something else. I am just going to have to wait and see.