Hypomonē. hü-po-mo-nā’. Noun. A bearing up under. A remaining under. A patient enduring.
On Saturday night, I was seriously considering leaving town. Just getting in the car and driving west. I told myself I would come back, but I think if I had chosen to get behind the wheel Sunday morning and drive west, I wouldn’t have come back.
I am so tired that all I want is out.
I don’t want to wait through increasingly difficult circumstances for undefined amounts of time and for unknown purposes.
I want to be done.
I went about business-as-usual Sunday morning instead. And Monday morning. And this morning.
I chose endurance. I chose remaining under. I chose waiting. In those increasingly difficult circumstances for undefined amounts of time and for unknown purposes.
I’m not thrilled about my choice. It’s like God keeps on turning up the heat. I chose to remain under on Sunday, and Monday morning, another issue cropped up for me to handle. And I don’t think (at this point) it’s because He wants me somewhere else. I think it’s because He wants to see what I do in the heat.
Hopefully I won’t melt.