I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine … the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect.
But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his.
All prostitutes receive gifts, but you give gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from everywhere for your illicit favors. So in your prostitution you are the opposite of others; no one runs after you for your favors. You are the very opposite, for you give payment and none is given to you.
I will put a stop to your prostitution, and you will no longer pay your lovers. Then my wrath against you will subside and my jealous anger will turn away from you; I will be calm and no longer angry.
~ excerpts from Ezekiel 16 NIV
This is for me.
Not that I’m a literal prostitute. Not that Israel was a literal prostitute, either.
I have made the gifts God has given me available to anyone passing by, and so have devalued His gifts. I have poured these gifts into leaky vessels, expended them on dead things. I have provided costly seats to God’s grace in my life at no charge.
I have been dealt with for it.
Of course, I have been dealt with for it; it was never going to be allowed to continue.
Now, there is a new mode of operation.
If you want to find me, you’re going to have to find Him first.
If you want a place in my life, it’s going to cost you something.
If you want the power and grace God has given me in your life, you’re going to have to ask Him for me. Whether or not He agrees to your request is up to Him.
I am not free anymore, for people to use me up and toss me aside.
A place in my life is not free anymore, for people to come and observe the easy things and turn their heads and leave when things become challenging.
The power and grace I’ve been given are not free anymore, for people to accept when it strokes their ego and reject when it does not.
I am going to become unknowable, inaccessible, and unusable, but for the seekers, but for the brave, but for the ones with ears to hear.