Monthly Archives: March 2017

Last Day Reflections

Last day at Bob Moore Subaru.

Where I learned the phrase, “Love ya like a head cold,” and now find myself repeating it and getting strange looks from people.

Where I have been more than a job description; I’ve been a person.

Where I learned to be more generous, simply by working with such radically generous people.

Where I grew in customer service and teamwork – the most important aspects of any job.

Where I expanded my virtually nonexistent knowledge of what goes into car sales and service, because people were willing to explain it to me.

And while I’m going to miss my people here, it’s time to learn and parrot new cheesy phrases, grow in a new role while maintaining and building on a solid service-oriented foundation, and learn even more about car sales, knowing that everything I’ve learned in this job has given me confidence about moving forward.

Love,

Your Resident Walking, Talking Dictionary and Writer’s Manual,

Sometimes Cook, Sometimes Baker, Sometimes Bringer of Pre-Made Food and the Good Candy,

Mostly Ray of Sunshine, but Occasionally Sarcastic and Irritable,

Always Willing to Help When Asked,

Me

Things Happening Saturday

Two things are happening on Saturday: one, I am starting a new job, and the other, my five-year-old niece is having a celebration of being cancer-free after a battle with retinoblastoma (in which she lost an eye) and chemo.

Both are answers to prayer.

One, a response to an intense and (relatively) short season of prayer, and the other, a response to prayers over many years.

All I can say is that God hears every sigh and collects every tear, and that has been the most precious thing to me in these seasons of prayer. Because answers to life-changing requests take time, and the hope in a moment of loss and waiting and uncertainty is not looking at what might eventually be, but when God is there in it with you – in the sighing, in the groaning, in the melting down – listening and holding your hand and grieving it with you. And in those moments, God recalibrates your hope, your prayers, your faith. And you what you end up with may or may not be what you desire and when and how, but you will be more keenly aware of God in your life, and that, for me, has been the ultimate thing.

But it is life-giving to see the things you pray for realized, and the things you pray against defeated, so this week, I am celebrating.

Celebrate with me!

Toothless

I had a dream about you the other night.

You weren’t in it, but it was about you.

They say a dream about losing teeth is about the dreamer feeling powerless, but in my dream, I yanked out my own tooth. It hurt as I pulled it, and I was sure it was going to leave a bloody, gaping hole in my jaw, but it only left a gap between teeth.  Anyway, it ended up being a misunderstanding: I hadn’t needed to pull the tooth, but, of course, by the time I realized that, it was too late. There I was, an unattractive gap in my teeth.

Yes, I can see how lost teeth would symbolize a sense of powerlessness and vulnerability.

Why am I feeling powerless and vulnerable?

It’s you.

When you’re around, I don’t even try to hold on to my power. I tear and throw it away, leaving myself defenseless, and you with dozens of new ways to hurt me if that’s what you decided to do.

Problem is, I don’t know what you’ll decide.

It’s not like I can decide for you. (I wouldn’t even if I could.)

Problem is, this isn’t pretty – me, asking for what I want. It isn’t pretty – me, showing all my cards.

But…

It’s not like I have anything significant to lose.

So maybe I’m feeling powerless and vulnerable, but I’m not.