Toothless

I had a dream about you the other night.

You weren’t in it, but it was about you.

They say a dream about losing teeth is about the dreamer feeling powerless, but in my dream, I yanked out my own tooth. It hurt as I pulled it, and I was sure it was going to leave a bloody, gaping hole in my jaw, but it only left a gap between teeth.  Anyway, it ended up being a misunderstanding: I hadn’t needed to pull the tooth, but, of course, by the time I realized that, it was too late. There I was, an unattractive gap in my teeth.

Yes, I can see how lost teeth would symbolize a sense of powerlessness and vulnerability.

Why am I feeling powerless and vulnerable?

It’s you.

When you’re around, I don’t even try to hold on to my power. I tear and throw it away, leaving myself defenseless, and you with dozens of new ways to hurt me if that’s what you decided to do.

Problem is, I don’t know what you’ll decide.

It’s not like I can decide for you. (I wouldn’t even if I could.)

Problem is, this isn’t pretty – me, asking for what I want. It isn’t pretty – me, showing all my cards.

But…

It’s not like I have anything significant to lose.

So maybe I’m feeling powerless and vulnerable, but I’m not.

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