My Unpublishing Testimony

It’s been almost a year since I became an unpublished author. Almost a year since I dismantled my online author platform. Almost a year since I left behind the world of striving to be seen.

 

God gave me this song from Lauren Daigle in that season; this song about laying things down and kingdoms falling. God gave me verses; verses about seeds falling to the ground and having to decay and die before they could live, verses about not knowing what form the seeds would take once resurrected (John 12 and 1 Corinthians 15).

 

And so I buried my book, my platform, my greed to be seen, and sang this song over and over.

 

Once And for All

Lauren Daigle

[LISTEN HERE]

God I give You all I can today

These scattered ashes that I hid away

I lay them all at Your feet

From the corners of my deepest shame

The empty places where I’ve worn Your name

Show me the love I say I believe

Oh Help me to lay it down

Oh Lord I lay it down

Oh let this be where I die

My lord with thee crucified

Be lifted high as my Kingdom’s fall

Once and for all, once and for all

There is victory in my Saviors loss

And In the crimson flowing from the cross

Pour over me, pour over me yes

Oh let this be where I die

My lord with thee crucified

Be lifted high as my Kingdom’s fall

Once and for all, once and for all

Oh Lord I lay it down

Oh Lord I lay it down

Help me to lay it down

Oh Lord I lay it down

Oh let this be where I die

My Lord with thee crucified

Be lifted high as my Kingdom’s fall

Once and for all

Once and for all

Oh once and for all

Once and for all

 

Resurrected, the platform-burying looks like freedom. Freedom to write exactly what’s on my heart – nothing more, nothing less. Freedom to write and not worry about who’s reading, if anyone. Freedom to write when things have matured in me, not on a schedule.

 

Because the need to be seen is slavery to whatever post length is vogue at the time, slavery to what people want to read, slavery to whatever posting time on whatever platform is likely to make me more visible. Slavery when it all changes again and again. And again.

 

On Saturday, I attended a literary conference, my first event of that nature. One of the publishers stressed enjoying the unpublished time – the time when writers can take their time – because once published, much of your time belongs to your publisher.

 

Ah, yes. Freedom.

 

There is freedom when the kingdoms fall, and dreams and goals are laid down, buried to die and be resurrected at a later time, perhaps in a much different way than we ever would have imagined.

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One thought on “My Unpublishing Testimony

  1. vallezc3 says:

    The price of freedom; you don’t know it until He tells you what that is, you don’t see it until the sacrifice has died. But one thing is for sure to see through His eyes everything about you must die and that it takes courage to even try.

    Good to hear from you Lydia

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