Tag Archives: Vision

Remain Open

I don’t think I’ve ever changed my mind so much as I did this morning.  I’m pretty sure my brain is fried.

Here’s the story.

About a year-and-a-half ago, I began asking God to open a very specific door for me.  After a few months, the door opened, and I was poised to walk through it.  The week the door opened, I had a dream that I really believe was a vision from God for my life.  One morning, I was reflecting about this door and this vision, and God told me, “You can have this if you really want it, but I have better for you if you just wait for Me.”  I made a choice to trust God that morning, and little by little the vision for what God wants for me has become sharper and sharper.

Doors upon doors have been closed for me.  This week, though, I was faced with yet another open door.   A door that made perfect sense, except as I prayed about it, I had no peace about walking through it.  I felt like God was saying, “This isn’t it.  Keep walking.”

And that’s what I had every intention of doing.  I got to where I was going this morning and I found myself reasoning, “Well, it’s not like this is a bad opportunity.”

Then I’d come back with, “It is if it keeps me from what God wants for me.”

“How can God not want this for me?”

It would be easier than more waiting, more walking.  The feeling that it’s not quite right is easy enough to bury given enough busy-ness or the justification that it’s a good thing.  I mean, technically, since God is prompting me to say now, it’s sin, but it’s … a good thing.

But I can’t do it.  I have to keep going just to see what God has in store, because I can’t see two feet in front of me right now. I have to believe He has told me “no” for a good reason, just like He did thirteen months ago. So I’m going to keep walking and remain open for whatever God has in store for me, even if it’s just more of what I’m doing right now.   He’ll bring that vision about if and when He wants.

I just have to trust and obey.  And remain open for the right opportunities.

And write a bajillion more blogs about waiting and waiting on God and transience and interim seasons and endurance and patience and faith and obedience and things that don’t make sense and all that good stuff God is teaching me through this.

Yup.

 

 

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Tension

This week and every day for the past several months, I’ve been dealing with the tension between what is and what will be.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I follow God down the path I’m on I will end up in Seattle.  Every day, though, I am faced with paths that veer off of this particular path – paths that promise a quicker, easier planting; paths that are far more logical to just about everybody.  I can’t take them, though, because I just know … I’m passing through on my way to Seattle and I’m not supposed to get comfortable here.

And yet, I am here.  I am in the DFW area for only God knows how long (and I mean that).  At this point it could be days, weeks, months, or years.  And while I’m here, God obviously has something He wants me doing here.  He still has people here He wants me to minister to; He still has growth for me here.

And yet, He continually reminds me that I’m not staying here. God has called me to Seattle.  That means while I’m here, I’m also looking for jobs there, I’m looking for a home there, I’m budgeting a move there, I’m packing A LOT of my stuff, making note of the things I will need when I get there and am living on my own.

God is letting me know how transient I am.  He is making sure I understand that I am only able to be where He enables me to be.  He is helping me desire what He desires.

The bottom line is that I do not know where I will be in one week, one month, six months, or a year.  Perhaps I will live with this tension for a longer season, or perhaps this season is coming to an end.  I can’t say.  I do know that I will continue living here and pursuing Seattle until a) I move to Seattle, or b) God removes the conviction and desire for Seattle and replaces it with something else.  I am just going to have to wait and see.

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Without Being Told

Sometimes, I know without being told, or at least, without being explicitly told. Often the telling comes as a whisper or a tug in my stomach. It comes as a dream, a vision, a sign, but it comes without being told by other people.

Some lessen it to mere intuition, others say it’s not real at all. A lot of times, even when I’m describing it, I’ll say, “I just know.” But that’s not fair, because I don’t just know. It’s a gift, this vision, this hearing, this understanding. It doesn’t come from within me, or because of me. It’s from Him, because of Him. And I lessen it, and allow you to lessen it, by saying it’s something else. In fact, sometimes we block it out all together, because it’s easiest not to deal with it at all.

It’s called prophecy. And I know, I just made all of the cessationists upset, but really, it’s not my job to change your mind, just to allow my mind to be changed by the Spirit of God.  I decided to embrace this complex gift in March, when presented with evidence that I’d been given it, instead of making it something it wasn’t, as I’d done for years. And it continues to be confirmed, again and again.

Am I always right? No, I’m a human being, so I’m still susceptible to human mistakes. Do you know anyone with the spiritual gift of mercy who practices it perfectly? Of course not! And yet, people put a apply a higher standard of perfection on the gift of prophecy.  All I can say for myself, as I learn to properly exercise this gift, is that I am still learning to surrender to and rely on the Holy Spirit, so mistakes will be made. But I’m not going to say I don’t have it or just leave it dormant, neglecting what God wants to do with me through it. That would be one of the biggest mistakes I could possibly make.

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