Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been waiting. Specifically, I’ve been waiting for a relocation to Seattle. Some days, I’ve been waiting patiently; other days, not so much. As time goes by, the not-so-much-patience days outnumber the patient ones.
Last night on my drive home, I was talking to God, and I was reminded of this post, written about fourteen months ago:
I feel like God is preparing me for something big. I don’t know what it is or how it will come to be. I only know that when God tells me something big is coming, I can expect it to be incredibly challenging. Most likely it will break me, humble me, and push me well past what I think are my limits.
God has also convicted me that this something big will be a source of incredible blessing, not just to me, but to others as well. So I’ve been praying it into my life.
I don’t like to wait, but as I wait on this something big, God has assured my heart that this wait is vital. It is the calm before the storm. I will need this time to prepare. And in this something big, I’ll be glad I’ve had this time.
So, for the first time in my life, I am content to wait.
I was reminded that what I was waiting for then is the same thing I am waiting for now, but I was more able to see the wait as a gift then. Over time, as the vision and call have become clearer, the wait has become more of a burden.
Talking with God about it, here’s what I think has happened: I have over-romanticized what I’m being called to. Not that it won’t be good and exciting, but it’s going to be hard. And this time of waiting? It’s meant to be a time of respite, a time of preparation.
I want to get back to that place where I was fourteen months ago, where I was so at peace in God’s timing and His ability to make things happen, that I was content to wait.